7 ways that Facebook is bad for friendships

The growth of social media in recent years has resulted in us being able to build relationships with those we haven’t seen for a long time and helps to maintain relationships over distance.  However, social media can also result in spiralling  negative emotions that can negatively impact on relationships.

7 ways that Facebook is bad for friendships (and your self-esteem):

1.  A very close friend has posted a major announcement.  Why didn’t she tell me first?  I thought we were close.  How can she tell the world, most of whom are practical strangers, before she told me?  Do I mean nothing to her?  Guess we are not as close as I thought we were.  2.  You have sent a message and can see that it was read, but there’s been no reply.  Why aren’t they replying?  What have I said to offend them?  Surely they can’t be too busy just to send a quick reply.  I’ll re-read my message.  No, there’s nothing in there to offend.  At least I don’t think so.  Should I send another message?  No, that just looks desperate.  She is clearly ignoring me. 

3.  A friend has tagged a few people with a suggestion to meet up and you’re not one of them.  What’s wrong with me?  Those who have been tagged are mutual friends, so why am I being missed out?  Do I not fit in with them?  Do I do something that is socially unacceptable? Or do they simply dislike me?

4.  A friend request is still not approved.  Why haven’t I been ‘approved’ as a friend?  You have over 400 Facebook friends and I’m sure that we are closer than half of them, so why aren’t you called me a ‘friend’?  Clearly I’m being rejected as a friend.

5.  Nobody has ‘liked’ recent photos that you posted.  My children look so cute in this photo so why is nobody ‘liking’ it?  Two hours have passed and still nobody ‘likes’ it.  Is it the photo that nobody likes or is it me?

6.  A friend comments on everyone’s posts apart from yours.  I thought we were close so why does she comment on all our mutual friends’ posts and never on mine.  There’s another comment offering a ‘hug’ to a friend.  Where’s my ‘hug’?  I really need one and she never gives me one.  Does she not love me enough to give me a ‘hug’ too?

7.  Following a friend”s status, there are comments implying something has happened, but you don’t know what it is.  What has happened?  How do they know and I don’t?  I’m closer to her than some of them.  Or maybe we’re not close if she has told them and not me.  We can’t be as close as I thought we were.  

This is a light-hearted look at Facebook friendships, but there is a risk that if we take Facebook too seriously and allow ourselves to feel negatively about others’ actions, it can damage real friendships and our own self-esteem.

Image result for broken facebook friends

You Baby Me Mummy

14 Comments on 7 ways that Facebook is bad for friendships

  1. Ana De- Jesus
    October 5, 2015 at 6:04 am (3 years ago)

    I used to be hung up about the amount of likes I got on pictures and whether people had ignored my messages but now it dosen’t bother me. It just goes to show how attitudes change.
    Ana De- Jesus recently posted…The 'Social Other'My Profile

  2. Emma T
    October 4, 2015 at 9:19 pm (3 years ago)

    I think any social media can be dubious for people who look too deeply into things, and who can’t shrug comments off. #thelist
    Emma T recently posted…Project 365 2015 week 40My Profile

  3. Ickle Pickle
    October 4, 2015 at 6:57 pm (3 years ago)

    You are so right – my girls used to feel all this daily with FB and actually don’t use it that much anymore for that reason. I love it for my blog but personally actually hate it! Kaz x
    Ickle Pickle recently posted…My Weekly Photo 4 October 2015My Profile

  4. Anna Fraser
    October 3, 2015 at 9:20 am (3 years ago)

    I have to say that I don’t take my personal facebook page too seriously. I think I have to spend so long on my blogs social media that I have nothing left to give for my personal one! I browse what everyone is up to but rarely post. If anything I should make more of an effort!
    Anna Fraser recently posted…Friday Stylefinder: Weekend Lux With Mint VelvetMy Profile

  5. Random Musings
    October 2, 2015 at 2:36 pm (3 years ago)

    I spend far too much time on facebook, but I’m pleased to report I haven’t yet fell into any of these paranoid behaviours! If I ever find myself asking these questions to myself, I would know it’s time to leave! #TheList
    Random Musings recently posted…Life Lessons From Social MediaMy Profile

  6. Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)
    October 2, 2015 at 11:35 am (3 years ago)

    I agree with you on this one – it can be so easy to get hung up on how our friends interact with other friends on facebook and feel hurt over things because of over-analysing them. So much easier when we didn’t see every little aspect of everyone else’s lives. Social media can be great for keeping up to date with people but there is definitely a downside to it all too.
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…The Friday Focus 02/10/15My Profile

  7. Nicola
    October 2, 2015 at 8:22 am (3 years ago)

    So true!! Also I think Facebook sometimes highlights negatives about people – especially those that like the drama – in a way which we might not notice otherwise. Those that over share particularly annoy me!! Found you via #TheList 🙂
    Nicola recently posted…All Change!My Profile

  8. Catriona
    October 2, 2015 at 7:42 am (3 years ago)

    I’ve noticed I feel so much happier the less time I spend on Facebook. When I first created my account about 6 years ago, I’d sit on it for way too long, analysing way too much. And ended up felling quite lonely! X
    Catriona recently posted…Osian at 23 MonthsMy Profile

  9. Amanda
    October 1, 2015 at 9:01 pm (3 years ago)

    I agree. I think when Facebook went down the other day it showed how reliant we all are on Social Media. People can take it all too seriously at the end of the day it is not the real world 😀
    Amanda recently posted…Babyboo.ieMy Profile

  10. Lindsay @ Newcastle Family Life
    October 1, 2015 at 8:54 pm (3 years ago)

    I am so glad that facebook was not around when I was growing up , I feel sorry for my teenage daughter as she gets so wound up about what her friends are doing when she sees stuff on social media xx
    Lindsay @ Newcastle Family Life recently posted…Miffy’s Adventures Big and SmallMy Profile

  11. Kellie Kearney
    October 1, 2015 at 7:58 pm (3 years ago)

    Oh FB can be so dangerous at times. I agree with most of the above. Some of my not so close but still good friends were a bit pee’d off I announced my pregnancy on my blog. Whoops!
    Kellie Kearney recently posted…My Hallway Home Birth : Kadie’s Birth StoryMy Profile

  12. Zoe Alicia
    October 1, 2015 at 7:44 pm (3 years ago)

    I’d agree with you! I definitely think people have become over reliant on Facebook for communication, when it actually creates a distance most of the time.
    Zoe Alicia recently posted…Is there such a thing as Recovery?My Profile

  13. Michelle
    October 1, 2015 at 5:24 pm (3 years ago)

    I don’t really use Facebook to talk or chat to friends really its just usually there in the background. I am dreading the day when my teenager uses it though – it seems to cause more problems than anything else
    Michelle recently posted…Pampers Wonder WeekMy Profile

  14. You Baby Me Mummy
    October 1, 2015 at 2:20 pm (3 years ago)

    You’re right people can take this stuff way too seriously. I can’t really be bothered about who does what, but I imagine kids get sucked in x
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…A Devon Break with Blue Chip HolidaysMy Profile

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