What my children get up to when I’m on the toilet

So, this morning, like most mornings, I needed to use the toilet – it’s ok, this post isn’t about my toilet activities so you’re safe to continue reading!

Now I knew I would be there longer than a minute so, as usual, I scanned the lounge and playroom to see what my three small ones were up to.  There they were – all busy in the playroom playing with various toys and completely oblivious to me.

Great – a few minutes of peace, I thought.  So I quietly crept across the lounge, opened and closed the stairgate with as least noise as possible and nipped to the little room.

Within 30 seconds of reaching my destination, I heard the familiar click of the stairgate catch being moved and knew that today was going to be the same as every other day when I have my few minutes alone behind a locked door.

No matter how quietly I leave the room or how occupied they are, they will always notice that I’ve gone within seconds.  I swear that my children have an inbuilt sensor for knowing when I’m on the toilet.  Possibly because they know that is the time I can’t do anything to stop whatever mischief they choose to get up to.

So here are some examples of the various things that Hannah, Nathaniel and Alex have done during my toilet trips:

  • banging on the toilet door to see where I am
  • trying to open the locked toilet door with various implements – keys, toys, coins
  • tipping the contents of the changing bag out all over the hallway   children making a mess
  • going upstairs to wake up their older sisters (which goes down as you would imagine)
  • writing on the whiteboard on the fridge or writing in my diary
  • going upstairs to get themselves dressed – this sounds as though it should be a good thing but it generally involves pulling every item of clothing out onto the floor to find that favourite top
  • pressing various keys on my laptop so that it has new tabs and text on it when I return – my fault for leaving it on I suppose
  • finding the bag of flour in the kitchen cupboard and sprinkling it all over the floor   flour on kitchen floor
  • turning the washing machine on or off, depending on whether it was on or off to start with
  • opening the ‘bits and bobs’ drawer and taking all the miscellaneous items out
  • hiding my mobile phone
  • climbing up on the sofa and taking the phone off the hook – I don’t always notice for some time
  • re-arranging my ornaments on the windowsill
  • taking DVDs out of the unit   dvd mess on floor
  • shouting at each other before fighting with each other
  • opening the board game cupboard and getting the Game of Life and Monopoly out resulting in play money and small pieces everywhere
  • finding the baby wipes and pulling them out one by one until it is empty
  • taking out my purse from my handbag and tipping out the contents    Children tipped my purse out
  • pressing various buttons on the Sky remote control to either record programmes or delete them
  • hiding the remote control
  • making themselves a drink which means water over the worktop and floor

If only I could train my body to only need to use the toilet while they are asleep.  Until then, I will hold my breath as I sit on the toilet, listening to the various noises and imagine (with trepidation) what I will find when I open the door.

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17 Comments on What my children get up to when I’m on the toilet

  1. Lisa (mummascribbles)
    February 24, 2015 at 9:50 pm (2 years ago)

    Brilliant post! I have all of this to come for if I sneak off to the loo, I only get followed by a small boy who then knocks on the door continuously until I give in and just let him in upon which moment he decides he wants to brush his teeth – even if it’s 3pm! Thanks so much for linking up to #twinklytuesday
    Lisa (mummascribbles) recently posted…Today I felt like MummyMy Profile

  2. Helena Clarke
    February 24, 2015 at 7:36 pm (2 years ago)

    Fab post. I totally think these children have spidey senses to detect opportunities for mischief!!
    Still, it’s all good fuel for our blogging – what would be write about if they were perfectly behaved all the time?!!

    #twinklytuesday

  3. Christina
    February 24, 2015 at 11:14 am (2 years ago)

    Love this. Majority of my bathroom breaks involves baby lying on floor on a towel and my 3 year old sitting asking me questions or playing with bath toys. Daughter can be playing with her toys when I dash to use the toilet but then there is the opening of the door to see mommy. Audience is always fun!
    Christina recently posted…#MYSUNDAYPHOTO – February 22nd, 2015My Profile

  4. Jenny
    February 7, 2015 at 10:54 pm (2 years ago)

    This is fantastic and so what my two do when I am in the bathroom. It’s no peaceful or too quiet on the other side of the door that they are surely being naughty. lol The joys of parenting. Love this. Thank you ever so much for linking up to Share With Me. #sharewithme
    Jenny recently posted…Pancake Day and making memoriesMy Profile

  5. Something Crunchy Mummy
    February 7, 2015 at 7:46 am (2 years ago)

    Haha this sounds like my house! I had to giggle as kids always know when we’re gone and it seems time for mischief! Thanks for sharing and letting me know I’m not the only one that cant use the bathroom in peace xx
    Something Crunchy Mummy recently posted…Precious memories created with my eldestMy Profile

  6. Jenny @ Unremarkable Files
    February 4, 2015 at 3:28 pm (2 years ago)

    What I love about kids is that they’re so resourceful. They’re really good at calculating how long you’ll be in the bathroom and how much mess they can make in the time allotted. Good luck cleaning it all up. Followed you here from Wonderful Wednesday.
    Jenny @ Unremarkable Files recently posted…If Babies Wrote PoetryMy Profile

  7. casey grice
    February 3, 2015 at 4:08 am (2 years ago)

    Every single child is born with the mom/dad is in the bathroom sensor. Mischief and Mayhem will insue the second the door shuts. We feel your pain. You’re not alone. Hang in there. 😉

  8. HonestMum
    January 31, 2015 at 10:39 am (2 years ago)

    Haha I’m always escaping my kids on the loo! Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts x
    HonestMum recently posted…A Night at the OperaMy Profile

  9. Merlinda Little ( @pixiedusk)
    January 30, 2015 at 1:50 pm (2 years ago)

    Haha thats so like my house =P

    One of the worst that had happened to me is sudocream all over my son. Sudocrem is just too think and is hard to wash even on the tub!!!!

    #brilliantblogposts
    Merlinda Little ( @pixiedusk) recently posted…#Fallen44My Profile

  10. Hannah Mums' Days
    January 29, 2015 at 10:15 pm (2 years ago)

    hee hee – I know I shouldn’t laugh. In case it makes you feel better, I only have 1 (well 2 but at 8 my step daughter can be trusted!), and I regularly find this after I’ve been to the toilet…at least if you have more kiddies it might buy you a bit more time as they discuss what destruction they might cause 😉

    Thanks for linking up to #TheList xx
    Hannah Mums’ Days recently posted…Edlingham Castle – 23rd January 2015My Profile

  11. Alice Young
    January 29, 2015 at 7:36 pm (2 years ago)

    They just know exactly when you’ve left room to either come and bother you or show you just how much trouble they can get up to when your not around! Never any peace, until bedtime..if your lucky!! Thanks very much for linking up #mummymonday (co-host) x
    Alice Young recently posted…Baby Modelling ExperienceMy Profile

  12. Corrina
    January 26, 2015 at 8:54 pm (2 years ago)

    Ha ha, this made me laugh!! How do you do it with six!? Incredible!!

  13. Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy
    January 26, 2015 at 7:58 pm (2 years ago)

    I thought I had it bad with one toddler but you’ve definitely got your hands full! It’s all part of the fun I guess 😉
    Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…Meal Planning Monday #3My Profile

  14. mummyofboygirltwins
    January 26, 2015 at 11:40 am (2 years ago)

    Oh my goodness! You must never have any peace! Although I am quite glad as I thought it was only in my house that these kids of things went on!! Hee hee! Good luck in the future, and yes, holding bladders is the only way forward!!!!! Thanks for sharing on #sundaystars Jess x

  15. Steph
    January 25, 2015 at 6:07 pm (2 years ago)

    Oh I’m sorry but I did just have to chuckle at reading this! It could have been me reading aloud from my very own diary!! Like yours, mine seem to have this sixth sense built in too – though only if I need to ‘visit the little room’! If it’s their daddy, they just don’t seem to mind as much. Grrrr! Fab post! Steph xxx #SundayStars

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